Memories
by Multigraincheerios
Summary: All she has left are memories.
1. Memories

A/N: This is my first Doctor Who fanfic, so be nice if you're going to review. I've only watched up to Doomsday so I'm still new to this fandom and just had to write something after I watched it. So, here it is!

Memories.

It was mornings like this that brought the memories back. The mornings where the rain pounded down on the windows and it was grey outside. Where the day hadn't quite started yet. The coffee hadn't been made. The cereal hadn't been poured. These were the moments, as she laid in bed, hand outstretched, waiting for the other hand that never appeared, not matter how much she wished it did, she missed him the most. The moments when she was half awake and from time to time she'd mumble out a "Doctor" or something alone those lines. When she thought he was next to her. He never was. Only the empty space.

_"Will I ever see you again?"_

_ "You can't."_

Why did it have to hurt so much? Why couldn't she move on? She had since adjusted to "Pete's World." It was nice to have her mum and father back together. To see her happy again. Her mum deserved it. It was nice to see her being pampered and loved. Lord knows Rose had been a bad enough daughter, leaving her mum for long lengths of time.

To fill the void at night when she got lonely, there was Mickey. Rose loved Mickey in the way a brother loves a sister. She wanted to look out for him and was comfortable around him. She knew that no matter what, she'd have Mickey's arms to fall back into and that's exactly what she had done. She was lonely, he loved her, she played into that. It numbed the pain for a while, showing affection with somebody else. Kissing. Holding hands. Hugging. It was never quite the same though. The pinstriped suit was missing. The hair like he had just stuck his finger in a socket, that goofy grin he always seemed to have after they kissed. It wasn't there. Instead, there was Mickey. Not who she wanted, but who she had.

Everywhere she went, there he was. In the food she ate, in the shops she went to, in the television programs she watched, in the little things she observed throughout the day. Everything reminded her of him in some respect, even Pete's work. He wanted to come out with "Green Apple Health Drink." Or something like that. It had reminded her too much of apple grass on New Earth and she had to slink into the corner of the kitchen and cry silently.

Sometimes all she could think of is that he was out there. He was traveling with somebody else. Would he fall in love with his new companion? Would they kiss and hug exactly how they had done? Would they laugh, dance, play? Would he get that goofy grin she had thought was reserved for her when he looked at another woman? They preoccupied her thoughts, made her wonder, made her go mad. She knew what he was going to say. He was going to say it back. He was never going to say it now.

It was these mornings that brought her back to the beach. Brought her back to the TARDIS. Brought her back to the Doctor. These mornings made her miss him so much more. She'd lay in bed and pretend she could feel him wrapped around her. Long legs curled into hers, skinny torso pressed against hers, arms wrapped securely around her. She could feel how they fit together like a puzzle. She would pretend he was there. She would stuff blankets and pillows around her and pretend. Pretending and memories were all she had left of him. For now. That's all she had left. Memories. Pictures. Mementos. A shirt of his that she had stolen. That's all she had left.

As the saying goes. All good things must come to an end.

Or do they?


	2. Slap Jack

A/N: I couldn't decide if I wanted to do another chapter in this, so I did. I hope it isn't too off course, I'm going to start Season 3 in a little bit, so for now, thins are going to be AU. I hope that doesn't offend anyone. Thanks for reading!

X

Slap Jack

"_Rose, why do you like this game? It's so bloody boring. All you do is slap the jack over and over until somebody wins. What's the point?" The Doctor asked, obviously frustrated with this game, mainly because he had yet to win a round. _

_ "Because it's the only game I'm good at! Can't play poker, am no good at Go Fish. Can't do Black Jack. Slap Jack is the only one I am good at!"_

_ "How are you no good at Go Fish? That's the easiest game in probably the entire universe!"_

_ "I dunno, never was." Watching the cards, she flipped her card over carefully, the Doctor flipped over his card, seeing it was a Jack, Rose hit the card square on the pile. "Slap Jack!" she called out. A grin spreading across her lips as she saw how frustrated the Doctor was getting. He was a brilliant man, but not so good at Slap Jack._

_ "You're cheating! What are you doing?! Is the TARDIS helping you? Oh, I bet she is!" he said, smiling as well. Flopping the cards down, he closed the gap between them, hands reaching out to her sides and he began tickling her._

_ "NO! NO! NO! Don't' tickle me-!" The laughter interrupted anything she was going to say. Laughter was the sound echoing through the TARDIS. _

_ "Rose! Say I win! Say it, Rose!"_

"Rose! Hey! Rose! Snap out of it!"

The sound of the snapping in front of her face snapped her back to reality. "Huh?" she asked, looking around her. It wasn't the TARDIS, it was a café. The café she was a regular at. Mickey was sitting across from her, cards in hand. "Your turn. You a'ight?" he asked, concern crossing his face.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." She said, flipping the card over.

"You were thinking about him again, weren't you?"

"No, I'm fine. Will you just go?" she snapped.

"Will you stop?! We've done everything we can to console you. We know, you miss the Doctor. We get it. He's gone, Rose! He's not coming back! He left you just like he's left all his other companions. Don't you see? He's not coming back. Now stop mourning over him and move on with your life."

"Don't you dare say that! He wouldn't leave me behind!"

"Why isn't he coming to get you then? Huh? Enough is enough, Rose."

"You can't travel between parallel dimensions, Mickey! You know that. That's what he said! That's—Oh forget it! I wouldn't expect you to understand." She said, pushing her chair back and throwing the cards down on the table. "Just stop." It was taking all her willpower not to cry, scream or hit Mickey in the face. Maybe she'd do all 3 at the same time. Grabbing her coat, she hastily put it on and walked out the door, not caring if it slammed behind her. Maybe she'd go to Torchwood. It was Saturday, but surely there was something she could work on. Some spaceship to be torn apart, some specimen to be examined, something. Anything to take her mind off The Doctor.

Torchwood wasn't exactly busy. There were a few people examining a spaceship found a few miles off the coast, there wasn't much in it, it was merely a shell. It had burned when it entered the atmosphere. It was a quiet day, most people took Saturday off to spend time with their families or just to relax. Rose should do the same, but she needed to do something. "Ida! Ida! I'm here!" Rose called out. Where was the director when you needed her?

"In here, Rose!" came a voice from a room across the hall.

Rose pulled on her lab coat as she walked across the hall, flashing her badge at the door to open it. Ida, who was an older woman, grey hair tied up in a tight bun on the top of her head, glasses that were always hung on a chain or perched on her head, and the only jewelry she ever wore was a simple silver band on her right middle finger. She had taken Rose under her wing when she arrived. Rose was bright, she just needed to be put in the right situation, applied too much pressure, Rose got nervous and overthought everything. Didn't apply enough pressure, Rose got too cocky with her knowledge. "Rose, I have a question for you." Ida said, as she looked through the large magnifying glass at the dimension jumper that Pete had used to bring Rose here. It was not broken, the button cracked down the middle. It had been removed and she was going through what was left of it with a small screwdriver.

"Yeah?"

"Do you recognize this?"

Rose scooted over to the magnifying glass, peering in, she gasped for a moment. "That's-That's what brought me here. The dimension jumper?" she questioned. "I thought those had been destroyed?"

"They had. The Preachers made sure that all of them were destroyed .To assure that nobody could travel between dimensions again. Pete managed to save this one though. Gave it to me."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying, what would you do if you could have one last day with your Doctor?"

Rose was speechless. "You're not supposed to be able to travel between dimensions though. The Doctor sealed the bridge." She explained hurriedly. It was impossible. It couldn't be done. These thoughts needed to be thought so she didn't get her hopes up.

"We examined the bridge. There's one tiny hole left. Not enough to cause anything catastrophic, but we might just be able to transport through it, without much damage." Ida said, looking up at Rose from the magnifying glass. "I want you to try it. It's dangerous, you might not be able to get through but there if there is a chance you can, then this could change things forever. We could actually make this work."

"The Doctor said-"

"Will you forget what the Doctor said?! For just a moment, Rose. Listen to me, child! I know what it's like to lose the one you love. I lost my husband years ago in an accident. While I can't ever get him back, I know what it's like to not have them. You're angry, upset, you want nothing more than to cling onto what memories you have. Travel back in time. Bring them back. You lay in bed and surround yourselves with pillows and blankets and pretend it's them you're laying with. Right?"

"Yeah."

"You're miserable here, Rose. I can see it. You aren't meant to be in this world. I'm offering you a chance to go find your Doctor. I've tried my best to help you in this world, but you just aren't happy. Are you?"

Rose was speechless. Ida had hit the nail right on the head. While she could pretend she was happy, she was never quite truly happy here. She had just been trudging along. Hoping for something to happen.

"What do you say then?"

If she agreed to this, it might mean she could go back to The Doctor, even if it was just for a day. She could be back with him again. She could feel his embrace again, see that goofy grin of his, feel his rough hands. Just for a day. It was all she had wanted.

"I'll do it."


	3. She'll Never Be You

She'll Never Be You.

A/N: Before I begin, I'd like to thank you for the reviews and if you've read it without reviewing, thank you as well. As I said, I am only just getting into Doctor Who, so I'm sorry if my perspective of the characters is wrong or is slightly off character, I'm trying. I've only seen 2 seasons and part of Season 3. So this chapter is my first time writing from the Doctor's prespective, so I'm sorry if it's all sorts of messed up. I hope you enjoy it though! xx.

xxx

They had just returned from New York in the 1930s. Martha had wanted to stop home to visit her parents, The Doctor had agreed, the TARDIS needed to charge anyway and to be quite frank, he needed some time to relax. London was not the best city to do that in, with the hustle and bustle but while Martha was visiting her family he could be a "tourist" buy a large hat the British flag on it, go on a double decker bus ride where they stopped by all the major landmarks, Big Ben, Westminster Abbey, Buckingham Palace, all those stops. He could go get some food, and maybe he'd take a stroll past Powell Estates, like he did every time he was in London, with the false hope if he waited long enough, Rose would appear out of the apartment complex and give him that big, beautiful smile of hers. She never did though, no matter how long he waited. The flat was probably rented out to some new tenants, their possessions sold, furniture hauled off, a clean slate. Both Jackie and Rose were considered "dead" from the war between the Daleks and Cybermen. Nobody knew that they were in another dimension. Another London. Another world without him and there was no way he could get back to her. No matter how much he tried to rack his brain, no matter how much he rambled to himself while Martha was asleep, no matter what he tried. The bridge to the other dimension was closed and he didn't exactly want to fly to another sun just to be able to send another hologram, though, it would be worth it just to see her face once more.

There was nothing wrong with Martha Jones, she was witty, quick, had a sense of humor, she was attractive, smart, and overall she was a good woman. A nice companion, and it was obvious Ms. Jones had a thing for the Doctor, anybody could see it, The Doctor was aware of it, but it wasn't until Tallulah had pulled him aside and said something to him that it really hit him, Martha fancied him and while it made him a big smug he knew nothing could come of it. No companion, no alien nor human would ever be Rose Tyler. His Rose.

Martha never wanted to just relax like he sometimes did. She was always on the move. Always wanting to go on the next adventure. Martha never wanted to play slapjack, nor did she ever sneak into his bedroom in the middle of the night when she should be sleeping just to talk with him, she always poked and prodded when she should not be poking and prodding, she didn't bite her lip when she was thinking, she wasn't Rose. It all boiled down to she wasn't Rose. Nobody would ever be Rose, and he wondered why he put himself through this when he knew that. He knew in the back of his mind that he needed to let her go. He had other companions before her and he'd have others after her but he was stuck on her, he could only imagine this is what a teenage boy felt like with his first crush who he never quite had the chance to get with or the long lost love, that's what Rose was, the one who got away, though, she wasn't away by choice. He knew that. There had to be someway he could bring her back, anyway. There wasn't. He was hoping on nothing.

It wasn't until the waitress at the restaurant he had settled into walked over. "Would you like another coffee, love? I reckon the one you got is a bit cold by now, eh?"

"Huh?"

"I asked if you'd like another coffee. I won't charge you for it, look like you're having a bad day. Would you like anything else?"

"Another coffee would be wonderful, thank you." He said, offering her a sad smile.

"Is that your girlfriend?" the waitress asked, looking down at the folded picture on the table, the picture was of Rose, the one day the Doctor had grabbed a film camera, it had been the day after Christmas and he was snapping pictures left and right, of Jackie, of Mickey, of Rose, of the tree, the presents, whatever he wanted to. He found these disposable cameras fascinating and got the film developed the same day, after scouting out a camera shop. The picture was folded and creased, starting to fray around the edges, Rose was in the kitchen, doing the dishes, something had made her laugh, probably Mickey or the tele and she looked at the Doctor just in time for him to snap the picture, it was gorgeous. She looked happy and beautiful, his Rose. "She sure is pretty. She joining you tonight?"

"No, she's…she's not. She's just a friend." He replied sadly. "Thank you though."

"No problem, love." the coffee came within a matter of minutes and was left untouched for the next half an hour before he took a sip and decided that his coffee was no good at all, standing up, he grabbed the picture, folded it back up and put it back into his jacket pocket, digging out a few coins he had gotten from his "Piggy bank" aka the place where he kept his small amount of money he often hijacked from the ATM.

It was getting late and Martha was probably heading back to the TARDIS soon, it didn't take long to find the Police Box, unlocking it, he looked around for a moment, waiting to hear something from Martha or to see her coat laying on the coat rack or something, nope, no Martha yet, "Come on, Martha, there are things to do." He muttered, obviously getting anxious, he didn't like staying in one place for too long. Well, maybe he'd play a card game, the old deck of cards hadn't moved since the last game of slapjack the Doctor and Rose had played. Grabbing them, he undid the rubberband on the old deck and settled down for a game of solitaire, a boring game, but it would pass the time.

About half an hour later, he had almost won the game and he heard a knock at the door. "It's open!" he yelled out. Wiping the somber look off his face, replacing it with his usual smile. It was easy to hide behind that smile.

"Hey there, what are you up to?" Martha asked with a smile as she put her coat on the coat rack. "Family's doing well, mum met somebody named Jim. He sounds interesting, runs a pawn shop…." She trailed off, watching him play the card game. "Whatcha doing?"

"Playing solitaire." He explained, allowing himself to go back to the game. "Got a bit bored, waiting for you and all." A shrug of his shoulders followed that statement.

"You haven't moved those cards in months, why suddenly play them now?"

"Didn't you hear me? I was simply bored. Cards pass time, it' simple."

"Did you used to play cards with _her_? I like cards you know, pretty good at black jack." She said with a mischevious smile.

It was the way Martha said "_her" _or "_your friend" _that upset him. She knew that her name was Rose. Even though he knew she was only kidding around, that was the last straw, she thought Rose was some sort of alien or something, some taboo subject that shouldn't be talked about, it drove him insane. She was jealous. Jealous of what? The fact that he had feelings for Rose? The fact that he loved Rose and felt nothing more for Martha than friendship? It was pathetic. "HER NAME IS ROSE!" he yelled out of frustration, the shout reverberating off the TARDIS walls. "Her name is Rose, Martha. ROSE. Quit referring to her as "_my friend"_ or _"her"_ it drives me mad! She has a name. I should have dropped you back at home and left." He said, pushing the cards out of way in frustration. "I'm going out." He said, pushing back the chair and pulling on the trench coat of his.

"Doctor! What is the matter? I didn't say anything." Martha defended, obviously confused by his sudden outburst.

"Will you just stop, Martha? Just stop. I don't have feelings for you, you're a companion. I take you with me because I don't like to be alone. Do you got that? You will never be Rose, so quit trying to take her place. Any feelings you have for me, stop them. I'm no good for that kind of thing." He snapped before exiting the TARDIS.

Martha was dumbfounded to say the least and hurt. Surely she hadn't been that bad? Surely there had been ample time to recover from Rose? "I just wanted to give you the deck of cards." She muttered, pulling a new deck out of her pocket. They were alien themed. "Thought you might like them, guess not." Not knowing what else to do, Martha picked up the cards, set them on the control panel before making her way back to her room. It wasn't really her room, just a place where she slept. She wondered if he still had Rose's room assembled, the TARDIS was giant, it had to be there somewhere. All it took was a bit of searching before she found it. The bedroom wasn't very large, it had a fake window, with curtains drawn over it. The bed was a regular size, a pink bedspread across it, atop the bedspread was a blanket that had been crotched or knitted by somebody, somebody wh didn't know what they were doing, but it was obvious it meant something because it was on the bed. There was also a mirror, a dresser and two nightstands in there, no wardrobe or closet. The dresser held little trinkets, a small glass tube with what looked like grass in it, a pair of pink sunglasses, a child's drawing of The Doctor, a plant that Martha had never seen before and a picture of Rose and the Doctor, it looked like like of those touristy pictures that you'd pay a pound or so to take in front of Big Ben or some other landmark, they both had jackets on, Rose had pulled the Doctor's arms around her and he had his head on her head, they were both grinning at the camera, fingers laced together. They looked…Happy. He looked truly happy, not the happy she had always seen. It was a hit in the face. A slap into reality. The Doctor loved Rose, she realized that he had feelings for her but he genuinely loved her. "I'll never be her." She muttered, sighing and shaking her head, walking out of the room, she shut it quietly before walking to her room. What would she do now? Stay with him of course, there was so much to see. Maybe his feelings would change? She somehow doubted it.

Meanwhile, The Doctor had taken a stroll and ended up on a bench, bent over, his head in his hands, elbows on knees. He felt bad for snapping at Martha like that, but he missed her more than usual lately. It came in waves, most days he was fine, but then he'd get to days when he missed her. When he missed her terribly. All he wanted was his Rose back, that couldn't happen though.

Martha would never be Rose, he had accepted that, he had also accepted that whatever love he felt belonged to Rose. His two hearts had been hers long ago.

_No She'll Never Be You…With you is where I belong. _


	4. Stargazer

Stargazer

It was a beautiful night out, the sky was clear, the stars shining through, though from London you'd never see it that much considering all the lights, but at one certain café, if you sat outside on the small terrace they had and looked up, you could see the stars perfectly. Shining bright, millions of them, if you looked long enough you'd feel tiny, insignificant. For each star might be a planet, a planet with a leader, citizens, families, a military. Who knew what was up there. Well, one man did, one man who was far, far away. The man she loved. Sometimes, Rose Tyler would sit for hours out on this terrace, head back, just looking at the stars. Most people thought her mad for it, but sometimes she felt it was the only connection she had with him left. Even though his stars were different, she could pretend. Sometimes she'd make up stories behind each star, one was a planet with red seas and purple sands where the citizens were peaceful crab aliens who mined rubies. Sometimes she thought of New Earth and the apple grass and she'd pick a random star and pretend it was there. Maybe he was back on New Earth, maybe she could just travel back there and find him.

"Rose, dear, the shop is closing now." Maggie the shop owner said, poking her head out of the screen door. "Come on now, stack the chairs for me, would you? I have to clean the espresso machine." She requested with an apologetic smile.

"Of course, no problem, let me pay for my coffee first, yeah?"

"Nah, it's fine. I'll put it on your tab." Maggie said with a wink. "You're here enough."

"I have a tab?"

"No, love. I'm just kidding, it's on the house tonight, you look stressed. Job doing alright?"

"It's going wonderfully, I was lucky to get the position I did." Rose replied as she pushed back the wicker chair and stood up. Stretching her arms above her head before she bent down and picked up the chairs, turning them over and putting them on table. It was the least she could do, Maggie was a single mom, running the café. It wasn't the most popular, but it made enough to keep her afloat. Picking up the orange mug, she walked over to a potted plant and dumped the rest of the brown liquid out. "Drink up." With that, she walked inside and put the mug in the sink, rinising it out. "Maggie, I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?" she asked with a smile.

"Of course. I'll have your coffee ready, silly. G'night, Rose."

"Night, Maggie."

xx

The next day was a Sunday, it had been a month since Ida had proposed the idea of the dimension jumper to Rose, who had agreed without question to be the guinea pig for the job. They had been testing it for a month, once a week, they would jump to somewhere in the other dimension for just a few minutes, when she came back, they'd examine the damage to the small hole that was left open. Ida had managed to make it so there was minimal damage and had figured out a way they could close it up if they had any problems. Say another Dalek or Cyberman with their luck, it would happen.

This Sunday was different though, instead of testing it, Ida was sitting at her desk, looking through some papers, her head popped up from her work when Rose walked in. "Good morning, Rose. How're you today?" she asked with a smile.

"I'm good. How are you? You look happy."

" Rose, we've figured it out. I think it's time you can jump to the other dimension London. Are you sure he'll be there?"

Rose stared at Ida for a moment, mouth open. "I…I thought this was supposed to take two months longer?" that's what Ida had said anyway, they wanted to test it for a few months longer to assure nothing would go wrong with it.

"Rose, I think it's safe enough. We've also had a few interns test it, they came back just fine. Now, the only implication is you'll only have a short amount of time. 48 hours at most. Do you understand? We might only be able to do this once before the hole becomes too big and we have to close it for good. This is your only chance. You must return though."

"What if I find 'im though?"

"Then you'll have a short amount of time with him. That's the most I can do for you, Rose. That's all I can give to you. I can let you see your Doctor one last time. Life has to move on though, love."

Rose gave an understanding nod. Surely there was someway she could stay longer. Just a little big longer. A day wasn't enough for her to see her Doctor. She could need months, years maybe to experience him. To make mental note of what he looked like when he was upset, the way he rambled when he was thinking, the bright grin he got when he finally got something, the way he looked when he saw her after a long time. The way his arms felt around her when she hugged him, the way his lips felt against hers, soft but hungry at the same time. Wanting more than just the quick peck they often exchanged. The way his body felt against hers. She'd need more than just 48 hours to catalog it, to store it away in her memory to pull out when she missed him most. She'd need more than that to remember his face. She never wanted to forget his face. Never. However, this was all she was going to get, 48 hours, and she didn't even know if he was there.

Ida had been saying something but Rose was paying no attention, lost in her thoughts. "Rose. Rose-Rose!" Ida called, snapping her fingers in front of Rose's face.

Rose jumped at the snapping and looked at her, taking in her surroundings for a moment. "What?"

"I need you to go home and pack a bag. Just bring a few things, some clothes, a book if you desire, what you need, pack light. Tell your mum and dad you'll be going on a vacation, using some of your time off, yeah? Don't tell Mickey, he'd be worried sick. You just need to be subtle. Alright? Rose. I know it's not much, but I can't do anymore for you here. I'm sorry."

"Right, right. I'll go pack a bag. Thank you so much, Ida." Rose thanked her, smiling, leaning down to hug her. The thought of going to see her Doctor again made her giddy. What if she didn't find him though? Well, she had too. Just had too. He had to be there. Just had to be.

xx

The house was large as ever, Jackie had put her own style into it, Pete was more than happy to let her do it. Rose couldn't complain, Jackie was happy and that's what mattered. "Mum!" Rose called out as she walked into the house, looking around. The car was outside. "Mum! Pete! I'm home." No reply. Hm. Maybe there were outside, sighing, Rose jogged up the stairs to her room, it was simple, chocolate duvet, cream walls, a dresser, wardrobe, lamps, the usual. Digging through the wardrobe, Rose found a messenger bag, she shoved in some clothes, a change was all she needed, a hair brush, a bit of makeup and whatever else she thought she needed. Biting down her lip, she walked over the small box that sat on her dresser, it was nothing special, she had bought it in the market, a small flower was carved into the top, opening it, she grabbed out the folded piece of paper she had put in there months ago. A letter to the Doctor. In case she ever saw him again. Well, this was that. Ready to go, grabbing her jacket once more, Rose shrugged it on. "I'll be back soon." She said to the room. She left a note for Jackie and Pete saying she was going off to Ireland for a few days, she made up something about a concert she had wanted to see. It wasn't much longer before she was in a cab back to Torchwood, well, this was it.

Ida greeted her when she came back. "You're back. That was quick." She comented, looking at Rose over her glasses.

"Well, I don't need much, only a few days, I reckon." She said with a smile.

"It'll be fine, Rose. You'll get to see him, that's what matters, right?"

"Yeah. It is."

"You ready then?"

"Ready." Rose said, reaching her hand out to take the dimension jumper, Ida handed it to her. Hanging the large yellow button around her neck, looking at Ida she smiled.

"Remember, when you get there, you'll only have 48 hours give or take. Alright?" she asked, taking Rose's wrist and putting a small timer on there. It looked like a normal watch, but it would count down obviously. "It'll automatically start when you land. Good luck, Rose. Be safe, return safe, alright?" Ida said, pulling Rose into an embrace.

Rose wrapped her arms around Ida back. "Alright, I'll see you soon. Don't discover too much without me." She teased. "All the cool stuff happens when I'm gone."

"I'll try not to. Promise." She replied, releasing the young woman. "Now, go!"

Rose looked down at the button for a moment, adjusting her bag, she walked over to the spot where they always went off and just stood for a moment. "Here goes nothing." She said and pressed the button. Let the journey begin.


	5. Simple

Simple

A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews! I appreciate them. :D

xx

Martha Jones had never intended to fall in love with The Doctor, it just sort of happened. It was simple actually, you spend so much time with one person, you begin to see how wonderful the are and how much they really do care about people and how much compassion they do have. It was not mutual though, Martha knew she was just the companion, he'd drop her off like he had all his other companions, Captain Jack, Sarah Jane, and probably many others, she'd be left behind. Martha Jones had never intended to fall in love, like she had not intended to find the picture of Rose.

The Doctor was messy, not cleaning up after himself, throwing his coat into random corners, on the back of the chair, onto the control panel, anywhere but the designated coat rack in the corner, it drove her mad. She felt like she was always cleaning up after him, picking up random mugs, his coat, a newspaper if he felt like it. That's exactly what she had been doing when the picture came tumbling out of his pocket. The coat was laying on the back of the control panel chair and she went to pick it up, the picture fell out onto the leather cushion. Smiling up at her was a blonde woman with a face made for that smile. She looked rather ordinary though, nothing special, she was attractive yeah, but not gorgeous or anything, she was an ordinary pretty, the kind of pretty your next door neighbor or the girl you always saw at church. Why was he so keen on her? What was so special about Rose Tyler? As John Smith The Doctor had fallen in love with a woman, as The Doctor he had fallen in love with a woman, both humans. Why couldn't he feel the same way about her? What was she doing wrong?

The picture was obviously not supposed to be seen by anybody else, it looked like a fairly recent picture, but it was frayed, the edges starting to come apart a little bit, the picture itself was slightly faded, the crease marks prominent from where he had folded it so many times, but her smile shone bright. Maybe she was laughing at something he had said. Maybe she was laughing at one of his antics. She wondered what he was like around Rose. Did he say Allons-y? Did he hug her the way they hugged or was it more intimate? Did they kiss. The Doctor had kissed her once, to give her Time Lord DNA. That was the moment she had fallen for the goofy man.

"Martha! I'm back!" The Doctor said with a grin. "Where do you want to go?" he asked, rubbing his hands together as he walked towards the controls. "Mars? We can go to Mars! Take a peek at the Mars Rover?" he questioned. "Or we can…" his voice fell short when he noticed Martha sitting in the seat, staring down at the picture.

"Doctor, what's so special about her?"

"Where did you find that?"

"Well, I picked up your jacket, you know, to hang it up properly, which you never do, and it fell out." She explained, running her finger over Rose's face.

The Doctor was at a loss for words. He didn't talk about Rose. Rose was a taboo subject on the ship. Martha only knew bits and pieces of it.

"So tell me, what makes her so special? Why can you love her, but not me?" she asked quietly. The sadness in her eyes was a stab to the Doctor's hearts. He didn't want Martha to be hurt. She looked so sad. Like the realization that he wouldn't love her finally hit her.

The Doctor sighed, walking over to Martha and sitting down next to her. "Martha, listen. I do care for you. A lot, I wouldn't want anything to harm you, you know that. It's just that….Rose-Rose. Well, Rose helped me in more ways than I can describe."

"You love her though? I mean, you love her proper, like you'd be willing to do anything for her?" Martha asked, looking over at him. "She's just an ordinary girl and you love her." She said.

"Yes, Martha, I love her. I'm not the person to love though. She's much better off where she is now." He said, sighing.

"Why's that?"

"Martha, I regenerate. You know that. Rose, she ages. Where she is now, she can move on. She can have a chance at a normal life, she can have a normal marriage, a normal family, she can have children and a proper husband and family. I could never do that. I travel, I can't stay in one place for too long. I get anxious and antsy. That's no life for her."

"Doctor, do you miss her? I mean, I know you have me, but you always make comments about like 'Rose would have said this.' Or 'Rose would have known what to do.' I'm not Rose Doctor, how can you miss her if you have me?"

"It's complicated, Martha, it really is." The Doctor said, reaching out for the picture. "So, what do you say? Mars?" he questioned. His chipper attitude coming back.

"Nah, why don't we stay for a while? Valentine's Day is coming up. We can stay for that, maybe get some dinner. Tish is dating somebody new, I'd like to meet him before we fly off to Mars." Martha teased, putting on a brave face.

"Very well then, Ms. Jones. We shall stay."

"Thank you, Doctor." She said with a smile. "Then we'll go to Mars. Deal?"

"Deal!"

xx

It was like being sucked into a vauccum cleaner and then being spit out, your whole body was squeezed and it seemed like forever before you landed, or that's what it felt like for Rose after she had jumped. When she did land, she stumbled into some garbage cans, causing a large "CLANG!"

"OI! Keep it down out there or I'll call the cops!" yelled out a man.

Rose couldn't help but smile though. "I made it!" she was back in her London. Back on her Earth in her dimension. "I'm back!" The moment she had landed though, the bright red numbers on the countdown started ticking.

"47:59:59."

"Now, where are you Doctor? Please be here, I'm back." He had to be here, he just had to be, it was Valentine's Day, or that's what she gathered from the hearts everywhere. He had to be here. It wasn't as simple as she had though, unfortunately.


End file.
